finding a person to truly co-create a healthy relationship with, is not always easy. Many people do not put enough effort energy or patience into their partnership, to really deeply engage with somebody. At the same time it is natural for humans to desire relations. Nerveless not all of them are good for us, and it is on us to learn how to choose wisely!
In order to long-term be inspiring and up-lifting for another, couples have to experience each other as equals, show mutual respect for each others needs, and understanding for differentiating personality traits.
Often when people realize that they are not in a satisfying relationship, they look for someone to blame or make efforts to change their partner. A more truthful way is to acknowledge, the relationship is dysfunctional toxic and has to end.
Here some tips how to prepare yourself to make a better choice next time!!
1. Make sure you know your own needs:
The best way to attract the person you need as partner, is to be aware of who and how you truly are in love-relationships. Ask yourself what you really desire from a partner. What it is you want to share with this other person in your life!
If you are not quite sure, a first step could be a clarifying meditation. Take some time to write down memories of former relationships. Memories of situations you don’t want to repeat ever again. Memories of human traits and expressions, you are not comfortable living with. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions and irritations relate, without letting them overwhelm you. Than put the list away for 3 days.
2. Look at your needs from a rational, not emotional point:
When 3 days have past, pick up your list and look from a rational point of few at the people you chose for this past relationships. Try to be as honest as possible to yourself, even if it hurts! Look at their character, their lifestyle, their dreams, the relationship they have with their core family. Is there a pattern emerging?
The thing is, we can easily feel chemistry with people who are not good for us, and often we tend to do so. If you get lost in feelings of lust, power or other charismatic attraction, you can easily end up in a toxic relationship.
So in future ask yourself if the person you are interested in, has what it takes to truly be a good relationship partner for you.
3. Learn to meet your own needs:
Allow your partner to be “the most wonderful”, who is able to meet all your needs and – never depend on the other for self-care and emotional balance. It is simple not your partners job to be there for you all the time, it is yours!! If you choose personal responsibility in the areas of inner peace, emotional balance, your career, debts, taking care of your health etc.. , you will experience a new breeze of relaxation in your relationships.
Do so, and you will also feel more confident to pick a partner who is right for you! Taking self-responsibility for our authentic needs, leads to self-empowerment, better self-worth and self-respect, and that leads to more harmonic relationships.
4. Be aware of your boundaries and hold these space for yourself:
Being honest to ourselves about our boundaries and limitations is absolute essential for a undisturbed energy flow in all human relationships. Every minute you spend in company, you teach people how to treat you. You are consistently sending out information to others, about how you want to be treated. What is within your boundaries and what is a deal-breaker for you.
You communicate to others your core values about things like honesty, respect, reliability, sharing, what you need as personal space, your alone time, or how much physical affection and romance you need. Knowing that, you can imagine that inner clarity about your personal “rights and wrongs” is an excellent way to attract a fitting relationship partner.
For most people it is simple wonderful to be able to hang out with other human beings, share experiences together and create new dreams. It can be hard and painful for people, to be alone, as human beings are naturally built to be in love and bonded with another.
Problem is, the “fear of being alone” – is the most common reason people stay in dysfunctional relationships. So do things alone, hang out with yourself and learn to truly enjoy your own company. Know, that before you can have a successful and fulfilling relationship with another, you have to develop a solid relationship with yourself.
6. Be who you are looking for:
We live in a universe that works by the law of attraction!! What we desire in our world, we have to become first! Easy as that! How could you possible go out there and ask the divine forces for an honest, authentic and loyal partner, when you are an unauthentic lair, who usually betrays there partner within the week!??
Instead bit by bit, you have to become the list of what you are looking for in others.
To choose healthy partner and create better relationships, we must have integrity and keep our promises. We need to be authentic in word, deed and action.
Be truly present with your partner! Be available! Make time for each other and you will see, the love will flow!
Hope you found one or the other inspiration in my words and feel entitled and empowered to go out there, and just try it again!! Wish you lasting love, understanding and open sharing space for your future relations!
Love and Blessings!
Please feel INVITED to share and post this article on your website or social media, just always keep the credit and links working!! THANKS!!